I Don’t Consider This Normal

There are times when I get flashes of “who the fuck am I” when I am doing things that the normal adult wouldn’t find strange.

For example, I opened a bank account for my business on Friday, and it just seemed strange to be old enough to open a bank account much less one for my own business.  I know I’ve opened several accounts over the last 18 years of adulthood…hell I’ve bought and sold a couple houses…why does this seem strange to me?

The reason I bring this up is that I am typing this from a Courtyard hotel in Fairfax, VA.  It is strange to me that I’m traveling for business and planning on walking into a classroom tomorrow where no one knows me and I don’t even know the name of the instructor.  It’s for a class on a native XML database, btw, but that really isn’t important to this current rambling.  The thought of walking into any situation where I don’t have any idea of the potential outcomes usually terrifies me.  I usually do ok, but for a split second…and for many minutes before I arrive at the location…I am that little kid who thinks everyone is going to laugh at me directly or, even worse, behind my back.

Does this happen to everyone or is it just me?  Not that it makes it better if everyone feels that way, just wondering how damaged my little suburban, upper-middle-class (and not in the Charlie Gibson way) psyche really is.

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